I’m an adoptive mom and we adopted our son at birth.
It took two years to get to that point so my husband and I had time to think about what we could potentially do around feeding. We were quite nervous about it so I knew some women get breast milk from a donor bank, but we landed on doing formula. We thought it’s not ideal but we can do things like skin-to-skin contact.
We were at a café one day, my son sleeping in the Ergo carrier, and a woman came over to me and said, ‘Oh, he lets you drink coffee, I mean you’re breastfeeding right?’ I didn’t feel the need to explain to this woman that I’m an adoptive mom so I just said, 'No,' and she gave me a look and shook her head. She had no idea what she was saying or assuming, and it’s so hurtful because obviously if I could I would.
Feeding my baby was so emotional. Those were our moments together to just be. Looking into his eyes and seeing him fall asleep, into that lovely dreaming state, it was very, very special, and no one can take that away.
If I had advice for anyone in the world, I would say learn more and be aware before assuming certain things.