Mom guilt was tough on me. I’m a mama of two boys, 11 years and 15 months. I exclusively breastfed my first until he was two and a half. I was pretty young and really wanted to breastfeed, mostly to save money. My second experience didn’t go as planned. I was such a pro at it the first time around, I had this crazy expectation he would be very gentle and latch easily but he was an aggressive eater.
We started off strong but when I returned to work at four months postpartum we supplemented. I just wasn’t producing as much anymore.
At 10 months we had the worse case of thrush I could imagine. It was these shooting pains on the left side of my breast. The pain was unbearable after nursing and I started to dread it. I did all the different remedies, it was such a horrible experience. Thrush hates sunlight so I would rub milk on my nipples and be topless at home.
I pushed myself to keep going to the one year mark but after that, he was solely formula feed. I even feel bad now talking about it, we didn’t have those two blissful years. Standing in Target in the formula section, there is a bazillion brands. I really forced myself to pump and pump as much as I could but at that point, I was down to two frozen bags and I grabbed whatever I thought was best. I felt fortunate that he took to it right away and it released the pressure.