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Prior to having my baby boy, I was told I had less than 5% chance of getting pregnant naturally. I started tapping into all the natural and holistic things I could do for my body. Finally, I received a positive pregnancy test and I was beyond myself.

Like any other parent told we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, we wanted everything to be perfect and natural. I was completely convinced I would breastfeed.

I had a very long labor and an issue with my placenta, it wasn’t coming out. I don’t know if that caused the hemorrhage I had but I was in and out of consciousness. It was very scary, I do believe I was almost dying. I don’t know if that’s what affected my ability to produce milk.

We took our baby home and I had a very low milk supply, as in just a few drops. My baby was starving at that point. We were readmitted to the hospital to make sure he went up in weight. I pumped every two hours but again my milk supply was not enough. We finally demanded to feed our baby some formula, our hospital was very set on only breastfeeding. Once our baby got some actual food in his little system, we felt like we could breathe a little easier.

I tried to give him the little milk I had and continued to supplement with formula. I still would always put him on my breast until he stopped latching at six months as I wanted the bonding experience. I still struggle with how things went for me.